“The way I loved was shaped by trauma. I just didn’t realise it until it almost cost me everything...”

My Story

“The way I loved was shaped by trauma. I just didn’t realise it until it almost cost me everything...”

Hi, I’m Benjamin. I’m a psychotherapist, author, and founder of Khiron Clinics, one of the world’s leading centres for trauma recovery. But before any of that, I was a man standing on the ledge, gripped by trauma, with no idea how, or even why, to carry on.

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One cold November morning in 2009, I woke in the dark, shaking. I hadn’t slept properly in almost a year. I couldn’t work. My family relationships were crumbling. I came to a cold and frightening realisation that the idea of suicide was seducing me. At the time, that thought brought a strange kind of relief.

“But something inside me wouldn’t let go. I had five children. I’d grown up with a dead parent. I couldn’t do that to them.”

Guided by an off-the-cuff suggestion from a friend that I might have trauma, I booked a flight to a treatment centre in Arizona. I didn’t go for myself. I went because I had nothing left to lose. In that clinic, by total chance, I met a somatic experiencing therapist who introduced me to a different understanding of trauma, not just as a mental issue, but as something trapped in the nervous system, stored in the body. Within two minutes of meeting her, I knew she understood what was wrong with me. It was the first time I’d felt that.

After four months of somatic and EMDR therapy, I returned to the UK with one mission: to bring this work to others who were suffering the way I had.

“I started Khiron Clinics in a rented holiday home, with no funding and no staff. Everyone said I was crazy. But I’d seen something they hadn’t.”

Today, Khiron Clinics is internationally recognised for pioneering trauma treatment, having welcomed clients from over 25 countries so far. Our team is informed, trained and supervised by leaders in the field, including Bessel van der Kolk, Janina Fisher, Stephen Porges, Deb Dana, Dick Schwartz, Linda Thai and Licia Sky.

“One of the world's leading residential trauma-treatment centres."

My book The Invisible Lion introduced many to a new understanding of trauma.

As Dr Bessel van der Kolk kindly said:

“This book brilliantly unravels the complexities of trauma, making it easier for readers to understand and address their own struggles.”

Testimonials

Benjamin Fry’s compassionate perspective and simple visualization of my manic behaviour struck a deep chord within me. For the first time, I felt truly heard and understood.

That moment changed everything—it saved my life.

Leo Maguire BAFTA-nominated filmmaker

For those of us who are dysregulated, which is probably most of the population, no one tells us better how to get our minds and bodies back to sanity.

Ruby Wax

This book brilliantly unravels the complexities of trauma, making it easier for readers to comprehend and address their own struggles.

Dr Bessel van der Kolk

The Invisible Lion demystifies trauma. With profound insight, this volume offers readers an accessible pathway towards self-understanding and healing, indispensable for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of their personal journey to heal and cultivate self-acceptance.

Dr Stephen W. Porges

Today, Khiron Clinics is internationally recognised for pioneering trauma treatment, having welcomed clients from over 25 countries so far. Our team is informed, trained and supervised by leaders in the field, including Bessel van der Kolk, Janina Fisher, Stephen Porges, Deb Dana, Dick Schwartz, Linda Thai and Licia Sky.

"As a trauma survivor, I’ve been terrible at relationships, which made me wonder why. The answers I found can be applied to any couple, regardless of their histories.”

I speak around the world about trauma, relationships, and the nervous system. But I’ll never forget the man I used to be, the one frozen at the edge. My work is for him, and for anyone else who’s still there.

"My son turned 16 this year. He got to have both his parents at his birthday party. I never had that. My mother died when I was 11-months old. He came a whisker away from repeating the same story. But trauma treatment broke that cycle. And that, to me, is everything."